Hide & Seek

A week or so ago I released a song of mine called 'Hide & Seek'. I've been writing and recording pretty much instantaneously at the moment as I want my performances to be fresh out of the song-writing process :)


This particular song has a lot of lyrics (so this is a long blog!) but it shouldn't take me that long to explain what inspired them. I went through quite a long phase in my life quite recently of putting a lot of things before my relationship with God. As you will no doubt have gathered by now, this relationship is very important to me. 


It's easy to believe in God from a distance and to see him as 'The Big Guy In The Sky' - well I think so anyway. It's more challenging though, to involve him in your everyday life on an intimate level. I went too long avoiding spending time in His presence and praying with Him because I was afraid of making that commitment. It was too demanding, and I knew that in order to come to Him with an open heart I had to stop hiding things from Him that I didn't want Him to see. There were things I didn't want to let go of that I knew I needed to. And until I was prepared to put God before those things I couldn't stick around in His presence for too long. Not because He turned me away, I just knew deep inside that I wasn't being honest with Him. And as many of you will know, relationships without honesty are not close relationships!


So I would go through the motions of meeting God so that I was still 'making the effort', but I would never let Him fully into my life. Some things I was too ashamed of; others I was too attached to and didn't want to let go of. But what I can now see is that, even though I kept putting barriers up, God never walked away to leave me to it. He was always there, always with me waiting for me to respond. As if all my failings would make Him turn away from our relationship! Jesus was exposed to all of the evil in the world and God raised Him to life and welcomed Him back :) 


In one of the bridge sections of this song I say, "Me the one who's always failing, I the girl who kept you waiting, but in your eyes I haven't changed since the day we first met."


No matter what I do, God sees me as the beautiful, open-hearted person He created before the world began. So even when I hide from Him and do things my own way, His love never changes. I hope that has encouraged some of you who may feel unworthy to be a friend of God. He's always longing to meet with you :) Just stick around long enough to get to know Him properly and let go! That's what I've learnt anyway. The rewards are endless.


"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come to pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart. I will be found by you ... and bring you back from captivity." (Jeremiah 29:11-14)




Hide & Seek


I'll name the time, I'll name the place
Meet me there and don't be late
A rendezvous of the all too familiar kind

Where face to face we never meet
In this world of hide and seek
Count to ten and I'll run into midnight

My footsteps barely hit the ground
As I find the place I won't be found
Little did I know...

You would never turn away
Despite the many games I played
Running circles around the heart
That beats for me
You wanted what was truly yours
Despite the many faults and flaws
How could I not see your jealousy
You didn't hide it, you promised:

Seek and I will find you waiting
Where you've always stayed so patient
You will always be here when I get back

What drew me here to meet with you?
What made me leave? I have no clue
Time after time I would ask myself why

All that I knew was deep inside
With you the darkness became light
Ashamed of what you might see in the clarity

My pride would lead me to a fall
But you didn't stand and gloat at all
I did not know...

You would never turn away
Despite the many games I played
Running circles around the heart
That beats for me
You wanted what was truly yours
Despite the many faults and flaws
How could I not see what you could see
Each and every time you looked at:

Me, the one who's always failing
I the girl who kept you waiting
But in your eyes I haven't changed since the day we first met

I want to be found....
What was I afraid of?

You will never turn away
Despite the many games I play
Running circles around the heart
That beats for me
You wanted what was truly yours
Despite the many faults and flaws
How could I not see your jealousy
You didn't hide it, you promised:

Seek and I will find you waiting
Where you've always stayed so patient
You will always be here when I get back