64 Years

I'm on holiday at the moment with my family, and at the sea front today my grandpa sat on a bench overlooking the beach next to a lady who had recently lost her husband of 64 years. She was lost without him, but kept saying how much she had to be thankful for - to have shared such a wonderful life with him. When she discovered that my grandpa was a church minister she opened up and expressed her delight at being able to share with somebody who had some idea of what she was going through. She had personal faith but needed encouraging and reminding of the hope that she has for her husband and for herself. 

                               This was the very same view out to sea! Beautiful.
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This is a personal side-note of mine, but I couldn't help but think that no doubt, this woman will have spent the majority of those 64 years living selflessly for her husband, making allowances and growing in patience. But she was so happy and looked back on their years together with such fondness that there was no real sense in what she was saying that she had sacrificed anything at all. It made me think how today we are encouraged by our culture to seek personal pleasure and put ourselves first in relationships, and a lot of marriages break down because the other person does not live up to the other's expectations as the years go by. Yet, despite this woman's huge loss and sense of emptiness without her husband, spending 64 years of her life with him was worth the pain she faced currently and any that she had faced in the past. What an inspiration! 

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As they continued to talk about how they were both getting older and time was slipping by, my grandpa began to share this Bible verse with her, "As thy days..." and she completed the verse with him "...so shall thy strength be."  (I was sitting close by and holding back the tears at this point...) 

The verse above in contemporary English would read a little less poetically as, "Your strength will equal your days." (Deut. 33:25) This can be read in an earthly sense as meaning the length of your life will equal the amount of strength you possess within yourself - which would make sense to most of us! So when we feel strong in ourselves, whether that be physically or emotionally, we live on to fight another day. But there's more to it than that!

This verse also has a spiritual meaning, which I believe speaks of our inward strength that is sourced from Christ within us. To perceive the spiritual truth involves flipping the verse around to the older version again: "As your days, so shall your strength be." When you invite Jesus into your life, you receive the promise of spending eternity in His presence. That's an everlasting number of days, which means: our strength is also everlasting and imperishable. We don't have to be nearing the end of our days to find hope in this verse! 


Whatever comes our way in life, we will get through it and experience better days as we realise the enormity of the strength that we possess. We can overcome any obstacle, no matter how huge, the more we grasp hold of the strength that God gives us. And we don't have to wait 'til this life is over and struggle through waiting for a brighter day. We can experience the empowering strength of God all of the time.

The lady remarked to my grandpa, "Of all the people you could have sat next to today, you chose to sit next to me." - Mere coincidence? I don't think so :)

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (2 Corinthians: 16-18)

My Heart Sings

This song is probably the most deeply personal song I've written so far. I hesitated about posting it onto YouTube but then I thought no, I need to be honest with my fans and release the music that is flowing out of my life right now otherwise, what's the point? I might as well sing a bunch of cover songs and give up on originals if I'm too scared to write what's on my heart! So with this song, I really do write from the heart hence: 'My Heart Sings'.


You will probably notice that the songs I'm currently writing share similar themes and images, and tie in extensively with my other blog posts. That is once more down to the fact that I'm writing from experience of where I'm at right now. 


This song begins with my confusion as to why I had to go back to square one in my relationship with God. I must firstly say that, I'm not suggesting I have erased all that has gone before in this relationship. All that I have been through in the past, the ups and the downs, are really important and have had a huge influence on where I'm at today with God. But I recently came to a place where I questioned a) The very existence of God. b) Whether God loved me. c) Whether He was able to make me brand new and free me from all the mess I had got into. And d) Whether I had a future without DaViglio.


So I've been a Christian most of my life, I grew up in a Christian family and have always been in church. Yet at the age of 22 out of nowhere came this crisis point. The truths that I had always taken for granted and never questioned were all of a sudden unfamiliar to me and I had to choose whether I actually believed them. I had the experience I can imagine people have who come to faith later on in life from a completely non-Christian background. I had to decide whether I did believe God is real, that He loves me regardless of what I've done in my life, and that He has amazing plans for my future. 


So in the first lyric "I've heard it all before now, can't you just believe once and for all?" I refer to that discovery that yes, I have been a Christian most of my life and have had a relationship with God, but right now I need overcome my doubts and believe afresh the truth about who He is and who I am. 


The chorus describes where that path of belief led me, and that is to worship. I have led worship for approximately 6 years or so at my local church, but it wasn't until a few months ago that I realised that what I am called to in life is to lead people into the presence of God. Once I had believed anew who God was I couldn't help but worship him through music. All I wanted to listen to and sing was worship music, and singing the truths I believed helped remind me of their worth. 


The second verse of this song describes why I have to keep singing God's praises, because '...His mercies are new every morning..." (Lam. 3:23) Each time I worship, I'm being restored into the person I am supposed to be and made new. "That being the case, it all now makes sense - why each day a new song is required."

The final verse of 'My Heart Sings' reaffirms that nothing I can do will make God change His mind about how much he loves me, nothing will make him change his plans for my life into something less perfect, and nothing will come between me and my God! "Nothing can pluck me from your hand, you never ever loosen your grip."


I hope this blog has shed some light as to the personal meaning of this song. The last lines in the final verse, "My hope never escaped, my heart was never broken - those days have departed they're gone. That's what I must believe as I sing this song." are to signify that yes, I sometimes still have niggling doubts that I'm going to be alright and that everything is okay, but as soon as I start to believe the truth that I am perfectly safe and everything is going to be fine - deep inside I am made whole and restored. It's as though those doubts never existed - because God replaced them with his thoughts! :) 


"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." (Romans 12:2)


Lyrics


I've heard it all before now
Can't you just believe once and for all
Surprising myself, here I stand
At the place I thought was of no return

With an anxious mind and a heavy heart
I stumble to the place we first met
Nervously I lift my hands, and words leave my mouth
And I'm saved and restored once again

As I sing, Hallelujah
Offering Hallelujahs
My heart sings a loud Hosanna
To the One who saves my soul

I've heard it said that life is a journey
And every time I wake a day is born
That being the case, it all now makes sense
Why each day a new song is required

I will sing, Hallelujah
Offering Hallelujahs
My heart cries a new Hosanna
To the One who saves my soul

Nothing can pluck me from your hand
You never ever loosen your grip
My hope never escaped, my heart was never broken
Those days have departed, they're gone
That's what I must believe as I sing this song

I will sing, Hallelujah
Offering, Hallelujahs
My heart sings a loud Hosanna
To the One who saves my soul
You have heard my loud Hosannas
You return and save my soul.

Steadfast

You've probably seen the title of this blog and thought.... 'Sounds thrilling... o.O' 


So let me explain why I want to talk about a word that is commonly considered dull and boring. It isn't a word that is used very often these days - except in the classroom reading Shakespeare perhaps! The word is steadfast, and for me it is anything but boring. Why on earth do I feel that this word is worth contemplating - let alone worth writing a blog about? Well, it came to my attention as I was reading this scripture: 


"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, secure and steadfast." (1 Peter: 5:10)


Why was I reading this verse? I was reading this particular verse because it is one that has encouraged me a lot over the past months. Sometimes I get into the habit of thinking when life gets a bit much, that I have to go through a process of doing and saying all the right things in order to make myself a better person. The truth I've learnt though, is that I don't have to make myself immune to struggles and keep a 'stiff upper lip' when the going gets tough. I think that's another big misconception of steadfastness. It isn't a form of arrogance telling you that you can do everything yourself independently. It's a dependency upon God Himself who restores us and makes us strong, even when we don't feel like it! All we have to do is remain steadfast. What does this word literally mean? That question occurred to me too, so I Googled it :) 


Steadfast: unswervingly devoted, loyal, constant, resolutely determined, confident. 
My favourite definition was this one: Loyalty in the face of trouble or difficulty. 


I was trying to think of an illustration for steadfastness and I suddenly thought of a 'trusty steed'. That one horse that you can always rely on to carry you off into the sunset away from danger! Haha

Everyone has troubles and difficulties in their lives, so why is being steadfast so important?
It's not really something we 'do' as opposed to something we are. As soon as we believe that God is restoring us, especially during the hardest times, we're trusting Him and we're remaining loyal to Him. We're saying, God - I'm with you on this one. I want to be on the winning side in this battle and I'm confident that we're going to win. Here's another little verse:


"You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you." (Isaiah: 26:3)


To be steadfast is a life-long pursuit. I would say that you can only conceive of how steadfast you have become at the end of a difficult period in your life. It is something that you grow into which is displayed through the way you live your life. In the moment of being steadfast, you are rarely thinking "It's time to be steadfast again so that I will be saved." That would be considering yourself responsible to fix things - which you can't do. You are simply believing and trusting that God will always save you and is sticking with you through thick and thin!


Next time a thought comes into your head that tells you you can't get through your circumstances and you are always going to fail, just tell God that you trust Him and that you know He is restoring you into the person you are meant to be. The peace that comes from that is so refreshing! And that peace will remind you that you are strong, secure and steadfast.


To be steadfast is to have peace in the knowledge that God is steadfast - we will grow in loyalty and dedication toward Him when we realise that he is 100% loyal and dedicated to us. That sounds like a win/win situation to me!