Surrender

Does anyone ever feel like their life is one big to-do-list? As though everything you do ticks a box and you gradually progress through each life test with the hope of a sense of accomplishment and reassurance that you are fulfilling a purpose?

Well recently I was awoken to the fact that the illustration above was exactly what my life had become. I was working through assignments, ticking them off the list and anticipating the next opportunity to feel a certain level of attainment. I was packing my life with events and goals that I had to achieve in order to feel that I was 'living life to the full', and gradually found myself filled with a sense of apprehension as the day approached upon which I had to make a life-changing decision that would impact the rest of my career. 

A lot of us are brought up to believe that we have a destiny and an identity to live up to. School teaches us that unless we perform to a certain standard we aren't 'normal' or 'average' let alone special. Since my last blog I've had such a life-changing few weeks. I found release from these expectations: the majority of which I had placed upon myself. I discovered that life is not a test that we'll one day hear the results of and learn how well we performed. 

Each and every one of us has a unique purpose and plan for our lives. But what we can't do is try and understand and account for every little step of the journey. Nobody knows what will come around the next corner, and if we want security and the sense that we're really making the most of our lives on earth, I fear that too often we try too hard to convince ourselves that what we do makes us who we are.

I know now more than ever that my life is for one purpose only - to reflect the glory of my Saviour and get to know Him more. I had convinced myself that I would please Him in what I did and what I achieved, but I had been blind to the fact that all He wanted was my surrender to His love. This epiphany only occurred because I knew deep to my core that the time had come to let go of certain things that I had subconsciously built my life upon and weren't actually the be-all and end-all of my life; yet somehow I had grown to believe they were.

This may not make much sense to those who don't share my faith. But I hope that if nothing else, the knowledge that we are so much more than our title, our status, our position at work, our degree and our talent will strike a chord. I believe that Someone loves us to our core and wants nothing more than for us to love him back with all of our being, without the sense that we must live up to a certain expectation or be a certain type of individual. Sometimes we have to stop in our tracks and really ask ourselves what and who we're living for. 

This song lyric really says in a nutshell what I'm trying to express,

"Not because of who I am, but because of what You've done. Not because of what I've done, but because of who You are."

http://tinyurl.com/56ksns

A Postcard

I'm writing my first 'official' blog via my Kindle on the final day of holiday, watching the sun set over the estuary our cottage overlooks. A week away from the internet has been refreshing as always and I often think to myself I'll go on Facebook and Twitter less once I'm back home, but somehow I get drawn back into it.

It's like when I'm surrounded by beautiful countryside, unspoilt beaches, and a slower pace of life, I wish I could live in this world permanently. But then my friends and family that are missing from this scene beckon me back to my home town, and the lure of busy streets, fields of concrete and essay deadlines seems all too appealing.

Maybe that's what holidays are really for - to remind us of where we belong. As much as I wish I could call a more aesthetically beautiful part of the country home, it wouldn't be home unless my life and everyone in it were there too. While there's always that desire to escape the mundane and 'same old, same old', and we have to from time to time to get a fresh perspective on things, I could never choose the picturesque over the personal.

I'm a firm believer in creation and nature displaying the beauty and glory of God. Yet for me, as wonderful as this glimpse of perfection is - it is people who carry the most beauty into my life day in - day out, even when the nearst thing to a beach is the pond in the back garden and the sound of birdsong is replaced with the constant blur of traffic!

First Attempt

So this is my first blog! Well, my first individual blog. I blog on behalf of my acoustic duo, which is slightly less personal than I intend this to be. 


The reason I've decided to take up blogging is to share some of my thoughts with whoever wishes to hear them. They will most likely be related to my faith as I tend to think about that more than anything! Also, writing them down I hope will encourage others and encourage me as I look back over the coming months and years. 


I don't yet know how often I will post... Depends on how much I enjoy it I guess!


I used to wonder why people blogged and how people could find time and energy to write about themselves for substantial lengths of time. But then some of my friends began blogging fairly recently and I learnt so much more about them as individuals and what really inspired them that I realised its real potential. So I hope that through this you will discover more about what inspires me and what I experience in my day-to-day life as a 22 year old Christian :)


I guess the next post will be the real test of my blogging skills.. until then! 


Debs xx